What If This Is the Good Part?
Have you ever read a book that just changed how you saw life?
I recently did. It was recommended to me by my friend Danielle, called My Friends, and man, did I cry. And every page was a gift. It wasn’t because it was written so brilliantly, although it was.
It was because of the way art was described. It was the way that I was inspired by the friendships. It was the way that life was not taken for granted. It was the way that I was able to look at my career and find purpose in it again. It was the way that I was able to look at my writing and find purpose again. It was the way that I was able to look at my family and recognize that they are what matters the most, and that my friendships deserve my attention more than the grind that I often prioritize.
That when I wake up each day, that is a gift. That the sunrise is a miracle, that the rain is a miracle, and that when we get to see someone laugh, that is a miracle. And if we’re responsible for that laugh, well…isn’t that something?
Looking for Answers
There’s magic in books, of course, but there’s also magic in living life. While I love to escape within the pages of a book, I’m learning that it’s just as important to immerse myself in the life that I already have.
I think for a really long time I was looking for answers, trying to find them in the pages of a book. And maybe I did find something in this particular book. But what really happened was that I realized I need to find answers in experiencing the life that I have, living in this present moment.
As a meditation teacher, I literally teach people to be in the present moment, to focus on their breath, to notice the room they’re in, and to recognize their thoughts without letting them take over.
If I’m being honest, I am always thinking 10 steps ahead.
In meditation, I work really hard not to have my mind wander. I think we all do. But I do find peace more often than not these days when I am sitting quietly.
The People Who Shape Us
I just had a wonderful catch-up with my old boss and mentor, Susan, and as I was ending the call, I recognized how lucky I was to know her. How lucky I was to have lived that chapter of my life with her in my 20s, alongside all of the people I worked with then, and how lucky I am that I still get to know her today.
She is a remarkable woman who was a force when we worked at Conde Nast, but now is this brilliant travel photographer who sees the world in a way that is so different from the way I do. She’s an artist. Her brilliant mind captures light and describes things in a way that I can’t.
We talked about how our brains work so differently, and yet we brainstorm together in a way that flows effortlessly. We can go long stretches without speaking, and yet when we caught up today, it was like no time had passed at all. How lucky am I that I have people in my life like that?
It’s the art of being in the present moment that allows me to recognize that gift. That moment.
Because if I keep rushing through my life, I’m going to miss it all. I’m going to miss the fact that I have these beautiful people in my life. I’m going to miss the fact that I am pursuing my dream. I’m going to miss the faces of the people I teach and the moment they take their first real exhale of the day.
There’s a big difference between when people walk into my sessions and when they leave. Their shoulders soften. Their breathing changes. Their faces change. But if I’m so busy planning my next session, I won’t even notice it. And if I’m always thinking about what’s next, then I’m not actually on this journey with them.
The Moments I Don’t Want to Miss
I’m so blessed to be living this life. I’m so blessed to watch my child get excited over building his CrunchLabs box. He was so excited that he hid it so he could surprise me this morning.
Instead of rushing him out the door, I stopped. I let him show me what he created because that excitement isn’t going to last forever. He is not going to be seven forever. He is not always going to want to show me what he made.
And while we were 15 minutes late, the joy on his face when he revealed what he had built with his own little hands was worth every minute. Because if I had rushed him out the door, I would’ve missed that smile. That laugh. And I would never get that moment back.
So yes, a book can absolutely change how we see life. And that was a gift. But what’s most important is remembering to stay in the present moment. Meditation can help me do that, but I also have to choose it. I have to wake up every day with gratitude in my heart.
Not every day is going to be easy. Not every day is going to be happy; however, every day I have a choice. I can rush through my life and miss the moments, or I can stop and savor them.
“If We Don’t Slow Down, We’re Going to Miss Things.”
There is this one moment I always come back to.
I was driving with my dad after soccer practice. Maybe he was sick at the time (he passed from cancer when I was 15). I think at that point he didn’t know just how sick he was. Or maybe he did, but he didn’t want to believe that the end was possible.
He always drove fast. But that day he was driving so slowly. I finally said, “Dad, why don’t you speed up? You’re going so slow.” He looked over at me and said, “Lindsey, I’ve been rushing my whole life. If we don’t slow down, we’re gonna miss things.”
It was such a simple statement. I probably rolled my eyes, because I was 14, and that’s what 14-year-olds do.
But I remembered it. I remembered that ride. And I remembered what he said. He also told me that I needed to look up more. And I still do.
So maybe today you just pause for a moment, take a deep breath, and think of some things that you feel lucky for in your life. In this present moment, what do you have? We always think from a place of lack, and maybe today’s a bad day. Even on the bad days, there’s always something that we can find if we look hard enough.