From Loss to Legacy: The Woman Behind the Adoption Grant Program Changing Lives

Becky Fawcett doesn’t just answer to CEO, changemaker, or founder. She’ll tell you her favorite title is “Jane and Brooke’s mom.” But anyone lucky enough to cross her path also knows her as the woman rewriting the narrative around infertility, adoption, and what it means to become a parent in today’s world.

Becky’s story begins where so many fertility journeys do: with hope, heartbreak, and a willingness to keep going. After five rounds of IVF, three pregnancies, and three devastating miscarriages, she found herself asking a question that would change everything: What happens to the people who can’t afford to try again?

She had $40,000 left in her savings and was about to use it all to pursue adoption. But in that moment—when most people would focus only on survival—Becky saw an opportunity to create something that could help others thrive.

“I knew it was going to take every penny I had to adopt my first child,” she says. “And I couldn’t imagine what I would have done if money was what prevented me from becoming a mom.”

When the Dream Shifts, So Does the Power

“There’s so much shame and secrecy wrapped around infertility,” Becky shares. “No one wants to talk about the ‘what if it doesn’t work’ part.” For her, coming to terms with the end of her IVF journey was, in her words, “the death of a dream.” And yet, something bigger was being born.

In fact, it was her daughter Jane who reframed it all. At 11 years old, after overhearing her mom talk to a reporter about the grief of IVF loss, she simply asked: “Why didn’t someone tell you there could be a new dream? And why didn’t they tell you it could be me?”

That moment became a cornerstone of Becky’s mission—to not only validate the grief of infertility but to offer a new kind of hope.

Adoption Isn’t a Consolation Prize—It’s a Powerful Path

Becky is loud and clear: adoption should never be presented as the “last option.” That language does more harm than good.

“When it’s presented that way, it’s seen as a consolation prize, which is horrific,” she says. “I wish it was just always included in the infertility conversation to begin with.”

With IVF success rates being what they are—and the emotional and financial toll so high—Becky believes adoption needs to be part of the early conversation. “I want people to know that Helpusadopt.org exists so that if you exit IVF unsuccessfully and need help financially, you know we’re here.”

She Wrote the Rules She Wanted to See

After her first adoption, Becky couldn’t shake the thought: Where is the help for people like me? So, she created it. In just 20 minutes, she wrote the business plan for Helpusadopt.org. She didn’t wait to get qualified. She didn’t wait for permission. And she definitely didn’t wait for approval.

“People told me not to start it. They said it wouldn’t work. That I wasn’t qualified. But I knew in my gut I had a great idea that was worth the risk. So I tuned out the naysayers,” she says. “I wonder what those people are saying today, 18 years later?”

What makes her nonprofit different? Nearly everything.

“I created the adoption grant program I wanted to see in the world—one that wasn’t religiously affiliated, didn’t charge an application fee (because that’s just unkind), supported all types of families, and awarded grants that actually solve problems.”

One Family Sparked Hundreds More

Since launching in 2007, Helpusadopt.org has awarded more than $8 million in grants and helped build over 800 families. And while the numbers are impressive, Becky holds the stories closest.

“One of our first ever grant recipients once told me, ‘Because of your story, I have mine.’ I’ve never forgotten those words.”

Let’s Talk About the Shame—And Then Let’s Smash It

So why is infertility still such a hushed topic?

“If you aren’t getting pregnant, then something is not working. That becomes embarrassing to talk about. It leads to shame, secrecy, and hushed conversations—and that just has to stop,” Becky says.

The truth is, the world’s narrative hasn’t caught up to the modern definition of family. Becky’s committed to changing that—by raising her daughters in the truth of their open adoptions and empowering others to share their own journeys without shame.

“We have to talk about it, and we have to share stories—loudly—so that the seats in the back can hear,” she says.

A New Definition of Motherhood

Ask Becky how motherhood has changed her, and she’ll pause with intention: “For me now, motherhood is undefined. I see the word ‘mother’ not as a noun—but as a verb.”

Her daughters, now teenagers, may not always offer verbal praise (they’re teens, after all), but Becky knows they’re watching. And they see her fight every day for families that society often overlooks.

“They’ve told me: Open adoption is so important for us as adoptees. We need to know our stories. And even if it’s not perfect, open adoption is always worth fighting for. And you’ve always done that for us.” That, Becky says, was the ultimate mic drop.

Where to Turn When the Dream Changes

To anyone struggling with the grief of failed IVF, Becky says: “I’ve been in your shoes. I get that you think you will never be whole.” But she wants you to know there is hope—and possibly, a new dream waiting to be discovered.

On the Helpusadopt.org website, there’s a button titled Adoption: Where Do I Start? It’s not just a call to action. It’s a compassionate invitation. And if you need more, Becky wants you to reach out directly. “No one should have to go through this alone—not on my watch.”

How You Can Help

Even if adoption isn’t part of your personal story, you can still be part of the movement.

“Many of our donors have no connection to adoption. They’re just pro-family, pro-parenthood people who believe every child deserves a home,” Becky says. “Whether it’s donating, sharing, or simply telling someone about us—there are so many ways to make a tangible difference.”

Because Becky isn’t just building families—she’s building a future where every path to parenthood is honored, supported, and heard.